Tracee Parker's teaching on Domestic Violence was so in depth that I found it to be the most captivating discussion this far in our class. I was aware that there are court appointed supervised visitation centers and Tracee was talking about her affiliated center, Safe Havens and sharing with her audience some of the experiences they have encountered regarding the effects of domestic violence on children.
The first startling fact she shared was that there are 3 to 7 million kids exposed to domestic violence yearly with an additional overlap of 30%-70% child abuse. Sadly, the youngest children are at the highest risk of victimization. In most of her examples she refers to the mothers and children as victims and the fathers as perpetrators because rarely is it reversed, although she does acknowledge the reverse occasionally happening. These numbers according to Fantuzzo and Fusco's studies are: men -73%, women 13% and mutual aggressors (both) 14%.
Second, The examples of how domestic violence affects its adult victims and children occurs in paternization. Some examples she gave is the common isolation that occurs to victims. Mom is usually isolated from friends and adult family members and the trickle effect is that the children become isolated as well. They are hesitant about bringing friends home due to embarrassment, etc and usually aren't allowed to go anywhere. A very intense statement that she made summing up this pattern was that "kids reflect the mother being controlled". Also, she brought forth a valuable point that I easily related to from a counseling session I attended during my own divorce,(although no domestic violence was present in my case). The point she made was how domestic violence puts restraint on parenting. Often times the fathers presence and violent nature affects the mother's parenting because she tries to discipline before he does in an effort to reduce the violence the father inflicts on the kids. In my counseling session, I was simply asked to reflect on my role as a mother and determine if I am a better parent with or without dad's presence. So, it was very similar to what I had encountered.
A third key point she discussed was that child victims of domestic violence experience Hyper-vigilance. She compared this to being in a constant state of fight or flight, which causes mental, emotional and physical stress and illness. Children often don't know what to expect next so they develop over-effective coping strategies to try to comfort dad when he is upset. Many times the older teens that do not wish to participate in visiting their abusive parent do so only because they feel they can protect their younger siblings and/or mother.
One amazing revelation that needs to be discussed in this blog is the "Crazymaking" that the abuser uses to deny or excuse his inappropriate behavior. This was astonishing because I actually know a couple people who have demonstrate these behaviors and it is hard to cope with as an adult, I cannot imagine how a child copes with it! Crazymaking is when the batterer minimizes, Deny's or outright lies to distort reality. This causes children to doubt themselves and their senses. The batter often tries to convince them they did not see something correctly or hear something correctly, or get angry and blame the child's actions as the cause of their outrageous behavior.
Tracee shared some insightful ideas on how to a victim can protect herself and her children. Developing a "safety plan" and collaborating with community resources in case something happens can be a tool to protect and reassure children that they do have some control over their safety. She made sure to accentuate that you must create a happy medium. It is important to let children know that its ok if their safety plan doesn't work. Also, not to develop an image of the batterer that is not real or making excuses for their absence, yet being cautious not to be overely negative.
Works Cited:
Fusco, R. A., & Fantuzzo, J. W. (2009). Domestic violence crimes and children: A population-based investigation of direct sensory exposure and the nature of involvement. Children and Youth Services Review, 31(2), 249-256.
University of Wisconsin series on Issues for Youth Advocates and the Systems in which They Work (Producer). (2009, March 30) The Impact of Domestic Violence on Youth [online video]. Retrieved July 26, 2010 from http://www.researchchannel.org/prog/displayevent.aspx?rID=29215&fID=345
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